She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
