My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
