wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I queefed so loud it echoed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
