Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
