Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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