seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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