i think my mom watched the whole time
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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