I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
