Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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