There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
