Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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