so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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