Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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