I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
