Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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