My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
