mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
