I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
not ubering you a puppy
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize