i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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