Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
