Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
