I think I won the penis lottery.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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