Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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