You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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