"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
