i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
