Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
