I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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