I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what if I'm pregnant?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet