he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dating After Heartbreak
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑