glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.