Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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