nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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