She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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