wake up i wanna do it froggy style
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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