i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize