How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
