Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
