We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
