i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
