handjob tips. give me some.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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