he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
