I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
