nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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