Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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