I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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