it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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