are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
