dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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