She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
