yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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