the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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