i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
