I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
