so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
