Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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