this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
