just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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