were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
