Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
