She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
