I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
