i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I look excited, but its just a facade.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
