we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
