I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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