u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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