its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
